If I Didn't Care
by clfairy10
Summary: Bella Swan's 18th brithday was something of a debacle. Edward and the Cullens left and Bella has spent the past 5 years in a Mental Hospital. What happens when the Cullens come back?
1. Chapter 1

The sign at the building read _New Bethlam Hospital_, the man who entered was young, handsome, blonde, and dressed in a sharp suit with a lab coat over it. He passed through the entrance to a reception desk, the behind it pressed a small button that released the lock on a thick cage-like door. The doctor smiled his thanks to the nurse and proceeded to the main wing of the hospital. A male orderly was waiting on the other side of the door. "Hello Doc," the orderly greeted him.

"Hello Henry," the doctor replied.

"Are you finally ready to meet her?" Henry asked sounding trepidatious.

"Lead the way," the doctor replied gesturing Henry to go ahead of him, and followed him down one of the side halls to the patient rooms. "What can you tell me about her? The file was pretty thin."

Henry glanced back at the doctor before answering, "She has a bit of a temper, and deadly aim. I've had five stitches because of her. Swan has a sweet side too, she draws pictures and portraits of our families for us," he paused for a moment before continuing, "we don't usually tell doctors about that."

"I understand she doesn't speak to her doctors," the new doctor prompted.

"No" Henry confirmed. "She hardly speaks at all," He stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. "This is her room," Henry announced. The doctor looked into the room through a small window in the door. He saw a woman sitting at a desk her back was to the door. Her long hair spilling down her back and over her shoulders, she was drawing and had her feet curled on the edge of her chair. The doctor nodded and Henry opened the door.

"Isabella you have a visitor," he informed the woman.

She laughed a little to herself, but didn't look up from her drawing. "Oh really?" she asked skeptically, "Who is it?"

"Hello Bella," the doctor greeted her. At the sound of his voice her hand froze for a moment, and then she continued shading in an area of her drawing. In a few moments she had finished. "Henry," she held out the drawing, "this one is yours." Henry took the drawing, and the photo it was based off of. A little girl and her dog playing in the grass.

"Thank you," Henry stepped back toward the door. "I'll leave you two alone Dr. Cullen." Henry left, and as the door closed Bella turned to face the doctor.

"Hello Carlisle," she greeted him tensely.

"I was beginning to wonder if you remembered me," Carlisle replied with a smile.

"Remember? How could anyone forget?" she asked. They were quiet for a minute before Bella spoke again. "What are you doing here Carlisle?"

"I'm your new doctor," he replied easily.

"Well you'd better get all of your questions out of your system now because I don't talk to shrinks," Bella stated defiantly.

"I know," Carlisle replied. "In the five years you've been here you haven't answered one question. Why is that?" he asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

"They asked the wrong questions," she answered. When it seemed he didn't understand she continued. "Every doctor I've had has asked me about your family; and that is something that would keep me here indefinitely."

Carlisle paused for a moment before speaking again, "I see you've become an artist," he commented pointing to the wall behind him. It was covered in drawings of her family, and a large population of Forks, and all the vampires she knew – with one exception.

"They help me sleep," she replied cryptically.

"You left someone out," Carlisle observed. Bella was silent, avoiding his gaze. "I know it must have been hard for you – "

"You really don't," she interrupted. They were silent once again for a long minute. "So enough pleasantries and platitudes, why did you come here, really?"

"It may take some time to convince the hospital," Carlisle answered, "but I'm here to take you home."

"When you say home, you mean your home," Bella clarified.

"Yes, that is what I mean," Carlisle agreed. Bella and Carlisle didn't have the chance to speak any more. The door to her room opened and Henry entered carrying two small cups.

"Sorry doc," he apologized. "Time's up." He held the cups out to Bella, one held a pill, the second water. She took them both opening her mouth to show that she had swallowed the pill. "Okay," Henry pronounced, "time for bed." Carlisle stood, joining Henry by the door as Bella settled into bed.

"I will see you tomorrow," Carlisle told her as he followed Henry out. Several doors closed at once as they entered the hall, and all the lights in the patient rooms went out. "I noticed in her file that the only medication she's been prescribed in her time here is a sleep aid. Do you know why?" Carlisle asked as they walked down the hall.

"Well part of it is they – her previous doctors – could never diagnose her with anything definitively," Henry explained. "They prescribed the sleep aid because if we don't regulate her sleep Swan stays up all night and sleeps during the day."

"Has she said why?" Carlisle suspected the reason, but wanted the confirmation.

"It's the only crazy thing she's ever said," Henry stated.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked turning to face the orderly.

"Dr Cullen, working in a mental hospital, you hear all kinds of thing that don't make sense to people like you and me. Swan has never said anything like that except once. It was the only question she ever answered in a session, and she was half-asleep when she said it."

"What did she say Henry?" Carlisle asked tying to be assuring, soothing away the anxiety in Henry's voice.

"'It's not safe,' the night," he clarified. "She said 'it's not safe'."

"Thank you," Carlisle replied.

"Take care of her," Henry pleaded, "I don't know what happened to land her in here, but she's a good kid."

"I'll do my best," Carlisle promised sincerely. He left Henry in the hall, quickly exiting the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

The sleeping pills took a while to affect her, and while she waited for sleep to overtake her she tried desperately to think of anything other than the Cullens. It was almost impossible with so many of their faces looking down on her from her walls, but finally she fell into the oblivion of sleep. Bella woke slowly trying to push her memory from the day before away, believing, hoping, that it was all a dream. There was a quick rap on the door followed immediately by the door opening. A tall twenty-something orderly came in. "Are you coming out for breakfast?" he asked.

"Yes Gabriel, I think I will," Bella replied with a sardonic smile. She slid her feet into a pair of slippers and joined him in the hall. "Good morning," she greeted him.

"Good morning," Gabriel replied with a smile. "I hear you met your new doctor last night."

Bella paused oddly comforted with the memory she had desperately wished to be fantasy, "Yeah," she replied her voice slightly strangled.

"What did you think of Dr. Cullen?" Gabriel asked ignoring her discomfort.

"He's . . . different," Bella finally answered. They reached the dining hall then. Bella went to get her food while Gabriel went to his post at the back of the room. She sighed as she sat at a table and the patients already sitting there got up and moved to different tables. Bella finished her food quickly and exited the room. She was only a few steps down the hall when Gabriel joined her.

"That went well," he commented, his tone teasing.

"You would think that after almost five years they would stop being afraid of me," she grumbled.

"Maybe if they saw you more, they wouldn't be," he suggested, and not for the first time.

"It's not going to happen Gabe," Bella retorted and stepped into her room.

"You know I have to try," he shrugged, "Do you need any supplies?"

"No," she answered shortly, "Thank you." Gabriel left closing the door behind him. Bella stood in the center of the room trying to come to terms with the fact that Dr. Cullen, a 368 year-old vampire, had visited her with the express intention of releasing her from a mental hospital and take her home. Once her mind accepted this, her dream from the night before passed through her mind. She picked up her drawing pad, sat at her desk, and began drawing. Lunch and dinner were delivered by silent orderlies as she continued to draw, page after page. "That's very good," Carlisle complimented looking over her shoulder.

Bella jumped and glared up at him, "Your family really needs to stop doing this habit of appearing out of nowhere," she complained, "It's rather inconvenient, and I think I'm a little young for a heart attack."

"Sorry," Carlisle apologized.

"Just make some noise when you walk," she ordered.

"How was your day?" Carlisle asked politely. Bella didn't answer, just continuing to work on her drawing. Carlisle sighed and sat on the edge of her bed waiting for her to speak. The evening passed quietly, neither of them speaking. Once again Carlisle was led from the hospital by Henry. Things continued like this for three days. Carlisle would arrive in the early evening and sit with Bella as she drew. Occasionally Carlisle would ask a question but he never received an answer. Finally on his sixth visit things changed. A few minutes after Carlisle entered her room Bella abruptly stopped drawing sitting up in her chair. "What is it?" Carlisle asked as she scanned the room. Her eyes finally stopped on the door.

Slowly she turned back to Carlisle, her face completely blank. "He's here isn't he?" Bella asked her tone as carefully blank as her expression.

"Who?" Carlisle asked confused by her sudden question.

"Your son," she hissed through clenched teeth, anger and hate shining in her eyes.

"Yes, Edward is here," Carlisle stated confirming her suspicions. "He would like to talk to you."

"Get out!" she ordered. Carlisle was startled, "Get out of my room – now! I swear Carlisle if you don't leave now I will create such a scene that the _only_ way you will see me again will be through plate glass." Carlisle sat, unmoving in his shock, "You have 30seconds," she added to force him to move. "One," she began counting. "Two . . . three . . ." between three and four Carlisle reached the door. For once second the door stood open, Bella and Edward's eyes met. He stood before her unchanged, perfectly seventeen.

"Bella," he called out to her. The sound of her name in his velvet voice was all it took to push her over the edge. The moment the door closed Bella's chair was in her hands, with a scream of rage she threw it with all her might. The chair collided with the door breaking into pieces. She continued throwing pieces of the chair at the door, still screaming. Henry and another orderly responded to the commotion. They pushed open the door, narrowly avoiding a piece of flying chair and restrained her. Henry pinned her arms to her sides as the other nurse pulled out a syringe. "No!" Bella objected tying to pull away, "No!" she shouted again. The orderly administered a sedative, and Bella fell into near unconsciousness. Henry placed her on the bed and they left the room.

"Thanks Rob," Henry said to the other orderly who nodded and left. "What happened?" he asked turning to Carlisle and Edward.

"I'm not sure yet," Carlisle lied easily.

"Is it standard protocol to sedate patients like that?" Edward asked. He had been introduced as a resident at the hospital following Carlisle, so Henry answered the question.

"Only when they're in danger of him hurting themselves or others," he paused for a moment before confiding in the doctors. "This is the only second time we've had to sedate her."

"What happened the first time?" Edward asked, sounding only mildly curious to Henry. Carlisle could hear his true concern.

"We had a patient who thought he was a vampire," Henry explained. "Usually he was harmless, every once in a while he would snap at someone. For some reason that day he really went after Swan. He came up behind her and bit her neck she picked up her breakfast tray and started hitting him with it. When we finally pulled her off him he had to get medical treatment. She kept throwing things at us until we could sedate her. Most of the other patients still avoid her. It was just after that she started spending her days in her room."

"When was all of this?" Carlisle asked.

"About six months after she came here," Henry answered. "I'm sorry, but I have to go back to my rounds."

"Thank you Henry," Carlisle replied. Henry left and Carlisle turned to Edward, his son was gazing through the window watching Bella sleep. "Edward," he sighed placing his hand on Edward's shoulder. "It's time to go home." They left the hospital together.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella woke with a jerk the next morning to a room full of light and an open door, "I hear you had a rough night last night," Gabriel commented. He was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed, watching her intently.

"Rough is one way of putting it," Bella replied stiffly. "Do I have to go to breakfast today?" she asked slowly sitting up.

"No," Gabriel replied. "I'll bring you something." He left Bella alone to get her food and she sighed in relief. She spent the few minutes alone she had alone to sort out her feelings. The day had been quite normal until Carlisle had come, but she was starting to get used to it. The way every sense was heightened, her body reacting to a vampire, a predator. She was always aware of every breath, every scratch of pencil on paper. The day before something had changed, suddenly the air was charged with electricity. It coursed through her body and made her feel an intense desire to reach out and touch someone who she thought couldn't possibly be there. Edward Cullen. Bella had tried to deny the old feeling, but she had only felt it once before, and she knew what it meant. It had made her so angry, that after so much time and pain that he could affect her like that. Even when he was in the next room, just his nearness was enough to set her heart racing.

The moment she saw him, heard him speak her name, she had suddenly wanted to cause him pain. Bella had wanted to make him suffer, that was why she threw the chair. She knew it was irrational, that physically she would never be able to cause any damage to him, but at that moment Bella hadn't cared. "So what do I do now?" she asked herself, hoping the answer would come the way it sometimes does when you hear the question aloud. Bella waited, but no answer came. Gabriel brought her breakfast and lunch, and she thought about where things would go next, but by the time Henry brought her dinner she still didn't have an answer.

When Carlisle arrived she had decided it was time to talk. Bella waited until the door had closed entirely, and Henry had enough time to get out of earshot before speaking. "I'm sorry about yesterday," she apologized. "There is really no excuse for my behavior last night."

"How are you doing today?" Carlisle asked, pleased she was speaking to him.

"I'm fine," she replied with a half-smile, "Yesterday was just . . . overwhelming. Still – I reacted badly."

"I'm just glad you're talking to me," he informed her with a smile of his own.

"Last night . . . it made me realize that I need to make something clear," Bella paused trying to find the right words to express her feelings.

"Bella you can tell me anything you need to," Carlisle assured her.

"Carlisle," she began hesitantly, "as horrible as this place is, and as much as I hate it here – I don't want to live with your family. There are just too many emotional complications. I can't guarantee that I won't lash out again, or break down in some other way." Bella stopped taking a breath to calm herself and gauged Carlisle's reaction.

"I understand that you want to insulate yourself, but your life is in danger," Carlisle replied. "Bella we are going to protect you, but we cannot do it here –"before Carlisle could continue the door was pushed open and Henry entered quickly.

"Dr. Cullen, your hospital called," he announced. "There's been some kind of emergency, they're calling in all the staff." Carlisle hesitated, not sure he should leave.

"It's okay Dr. Cullen, they need you," Bella jumped in. "We can talk tomorrow." Carlisle paused a moment longer, then nodded his head and stood to leave. Suddenly Bella jumped to her feet, "Carlisle," she called after him. "It's more of your kind, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Carlisle replied morose, "I'll see you tomorrow Bella," he smiled sadly as he left. Henry stayed, watching Bella his face frozen in surprise.

"You're on first name terms with your doctor?" he asked incredulously.

Bella shrugged, and sat back down, "He said it was okay," she replied defensively. Henry stayed for a few minutes more, but when she began drawing he left.

Edward Cullen was sitting at a beautiful grand piano, playing Bella's lullaby and old familiar tune to the Cullens when a fresh wave of sirens came down the highway. "Is there some kind of siren sale we don't know about?" Rosalie grumbled. A moment later Alice's gaze slid out of focus and Edward sprang to his feet as he saw the vision in her mind. He was out the door before anyone could question him.

"Alice, what's happening?" Esme asked immediately concerned.

"Bella is in danger," Alice replied, her mind still focused on the future. "The hospital is going to burn down."

"How long does she have?" Jasper asked.

"An hour for the fire to be put out; I don't know if Edward can get to her before she dies."

"He'll make it," Esme stated with confidence. Minutes later Edward arrived at Bethlam hospital, he raced past the staff, patients and fire crews into the hospital. He found Henry, passed out just outside Bella's door, a burning bean had fallen on him. Edward quickly moved the beam and ascertained it was alright to move him. Edward opened Bella's door, she was lying on her bed, sleeping. He quickly picked her up, threw Henry over his shoulder and made his way out, dodging falling pieces of debris.

He dropped Henry off a little out of the way, but where someone could find him, and left with Bella. The family was waiting for him when he arrived back at the house. "You made it," Alice sighed in relief. Edward smiled and took her up to the bedroom they had prepared for her. Carlisle arrived several hours later, surprised to see the anxious looks and hear the sound of a heartbeat, "Where is Edward?" he asked.

"Upstairs with Bella," Rosalie answered with a roll of her eyes.

"Bella is here?" Carlisle asked in surprised concern.

"What's wrong?" Esme asked.

"She is going to be very upset when she wakes," Carlisle answered his face conveying more worry than his tone.

"So?" Emmett asked with a shrug.

"The last time Bella saw him, it was only for a second and she threw a chair at him." Emmett laughed and everyone else watched the stairs waiting for Bella to wake up. Bella regained awareness slowly. First she was aware of her breathing, then the light filtering through her eyelids. It was brighter than she was used to. Last she noticed the sound of another person's breathing and the pressure of a hand in hers it was the coolness of the hand that pulled her into full wakefulness.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to see who was with her and saw Edward. She recoiled pulling her hand from him and scrambled across the bed. Edward stood taking two quick steps to follow her, "Stay there," she ordered sounding panicked, Edward froze. "Where am I?" she asked surveying the room, taking in the dimensions of the room, furniture and color scheme.

"Our house," Edward answered cautiously.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Bella asked crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"We don't know," he replied. Edward held his hands out to her, palms up, she flinched when he moved. They were both silent for a moment as Bella avoided eye contact. "Bella I know this will be difficult for you," he slowly approached trying not to frighten her. "You may even be angry with us for taking you away while you slept, but –" Edward reached out to touch her. She slapped his hand away.

"DON'T touch me," she hissed. "Don't you _ever_ touch me again! You can't just show up after five years, take over my life, and act like nothing happened." Bella glared at him before she continued, "Do you have any idea what the last five years have been like for me?" Edward was about to speak, but Bella cut him off. "No, of course you don't because you weren't there. You _left_, and I went to hell. I _hate_ you. I hate you more than anyone or anything in this world."

Edward was perfectly silent then, slowly he stepped back and was out the door before Bella could speak again. Bella sank to the floor and stared blankly at the ceiling, too overwhelmed even to think. Eventually a knock came to the door and Bella realized she was crying. "Come in," she invited. A wave of calm swept over her, and she immediately knew who had come. "Hello Jasper."

"Hello Bella," he replied. She studied him for a moment, but like all vampires he hadn't changed.

"So are you here to tell me how much I've hurt him?" she asked half joking.

"No," Jasper replied, "I think you're fully aware of what you've done to Edward."

"Wow!" Bella exclaimed, "You make it sound so horrible when you say it like that." She go to her feet, and finally met his gaze. "Jasper I had to say it. You know what would happen if I told him everything."

"He would do everything in his power to be with you," Jasper stated calmly.

"Exactly, so I lied . . . and I told him the truth. I do hate him Jasper," Bella stated emphatically.

"You love him more," Jasper objected.

Bella broke eye contact with him, and drew in a ragged breath, trying to calm her emotions. "Was there anything else?" she asked trying to sound detached.

"Carlisle would like to see you," Jasper replied.

"He can come up any time," Bella answered with a shrug. Moments later there was a knock on the door and Carlisle entered the room. "Hello again," she greeted him. a small nod was exchanged between Carlisle and Jasper, and Jasper left.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked when they were alone.

"Physically, I feel fine. I'm guessing you're more worried about smoke damage to my lungs?" Bella answered.

"You know about the fire?" Carlisle sounded surprised.

"I guessed," she answered with a shrug. "I kind of smell like smoke and I vaguely remember hearing a siren before my meds took full effect."

"Well, your heart rate is good, your breathing isn't rough or labored, I think you'll be fine," Carlisle informed her with a small smile. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Actually, I think I need a shower," she answered with a grimace. "I still smell like mental hospital under the smoke."

"I'll give you some privacy," Carlisle walked to the door. "Alice stocked your closet. Come down when you're ready."

"Thank you Carlisle, for everything." He left and she went to the closet to find some new clothes. Bella had to search for a while to find something she would wear, eventually she was successful. Twenty minutes later Bella descended the stairs to the main floor of the house. "Hello everyone," she greeted the family who were all waiting at the foot of the stairs. Suddenly Alice's arms were around her in a tight embrace. "I missed you too," Bella replied returning the hug.

Alice stepped back grinning until she took in Bella's appearance and frowned. Emmett was next, spinning Bella in a circle and forcing Alice to take a step back, "It's nice to see you too Emmett."

"What happened to you?" Emmett asked, "You look old."

"Me?" Bella asked laughing, "What about you? Is that a grey hair?" they all laughed along with her. Rosalie offered her hand and Bella took it with a lingering smile. Esme pulled Bella into another hug. "So, what's for breakfast?" she asked brightly.

"Come with me," Esme left an arm around her shoulder and led Bella to the kitchen. There was a full spread; pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit, and a glass of milk.

"Esme this is incredible!" Bella exclaimed. "Dig in," Esme ordered. Bella laughed a little, took a seat and began to eat. Sometime later Bella noticed only Carlisle and Esme were still there. "Where are the others?" she asked.

"School," Esme replied, "they stayed behind to say hello."

"High school again?" Bella grimaced in sympathy. "You really decided to settle in here. How long have you been in the area anyway?"

"A few months," Carlisle answered.

"Did you move here for me, or did you find me after you moved here?" Bella asked, her food forgotten. There was an edge to her question that Carlisle and Esme didn't understand. But as she watched them she knew it had been for her, "Why would you do that?"

"Alice had a vision of the Volturi, they're coming for you. That's how we knew where you were, and we couldn't just leave you defenseless." Esme explained in a rush, Bella almost couldn't follow.

"Wait, wait," she pleaded. "I thought the Volturi were like the vampire royal family – why would they care about me?" Bella asked obviously confused.

"The Volturi keep our laws, enforce our laws," Carlisle explained.

"And I know what you are," Bella concluded, "I'm a potential risk. I could expose all of you if I said the wrong thing to the wrong person. In their minds, that means I have to be eliminated."

"Yes," Esme sighed confirming Bella's dark thoughts. The word obviously panicked her, she cringed saying it, "You don't have to worry Bella, we're here to make sure you're safe," Esme assured her.

"I know," Bella replied with a smile. "Now, stop frowning or your face will get stuck like that," she teased. There was a long pause then Bella set down her fork and became very serious. "I have to ask the two of you something, and I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful -"

"But?" Esme prompted.

"But – why did you come back for me?" Bella asked obviously confused. "I mean, five years ago you all left without a word. Now some of your kind are coming after me and you decide to come back? It doesn't really make sense."

Carlisle and Esme shared a glance, a look that spoke volumes in that form of silent communication that develops between two people who love each other. So when Carlisle spoke, Bella knew that they had silently decided that he would be the one to give her the explanation she so desperately wanted. "Bella, five years ago, we left at Edward's request," Carlisle explained. Bella felt a chill run up her spine at the mention of his name. "He was deeply concerned that your continued exposure to us had, and would continue to put your life in danger. Edward was convinced that the best thing for you would be to sever the connection with our family. He was so desperate, so utterly convinced that nothing but harm would come to you that we could not refuse his request."

"So, all of you disappeared into the night, and he tried to erase himself from my life," Bella finished, her voice devoid of emotion.

"Bella I am so sorry," Esme apologized.

"No Esme," Bella reached out and placed her warm hand on Esme's ice cold one, "There is nothing for you to be sorry for. You did what you needed to – what you thought was right. There is no shame in that."

"Thank you Bella," Esme sighed.

"So, the question is, what is the plan?" Bella asked with a self-conscious smile.

"Truthfully, we don't know," Carlisle admitted.

"Wait – are you telling me your whole plan was to get me out of the hospital?"

"Until we know when exactly the Volturi are coming we can do little more than wait." Bella was skeptical that Carlisle was telling her the whole truth, but when she saw the fear and concern in his and Esme's eyes she decided to let it go.

"Okay," she agreed. Bella picked up her dishes and carried them into the kitchen. She was at the sink about to rinse her dished off when a pair of hands snatched them from her. "I'll take care of those," Esme stated. "Why don't you go explore the house," she ordered, not really giving Bella a choice. Bella shrugged, stepping out of Esme's way. When she turned around Carlisle was gone. The dining room in front of her was spectacular, beautifully restored to its original Victorian glamour. Bella traced her hand along the ornate chair rail as she passed through to the next room.

On the other side of the stairs, where the Cullens had greeted her, was an area that looked like it had been several rooms at first. The grand piano was there like it had been in every house the Cullens occupied, she imagined. For a moment a memory of Edward playing a selection of his compositions assailed her, she shook her head to push away the memory. She surveyed the rest of the room. To one side of the piano was an entertainment area with a sofa, a set of chair, tv and media players. There was also what looked like an abandoned chess game on steroids with eight chess boards pushed together to form one large grid.

Bella guessed that the game had stopped sometime around when she's woken up that morning. There was also a bank of computers, each with its own function, she was sure. As Bella stepped further into the room she noticed a heavy wooden door. Intrigued she tested the handle to see if it was locked, it was not, and she immediately knew why. It was a library. Bella grinned from ear to ear, and excitedly began to peruse the shelves. There was a section of books dedicated to history, one for medicine and the sciences, and the rest were fiction. Bella selected an old favorite, sat in one of the very comfortable chairs and began to read.

Hours later Bella was startled by a tray of food being set down in front of her. She looked up and saw Esme smiling down at her, "Thank you," Bella smiled gratefully.

"I thought you might be hungry," Esme replied taking a seat of her own.

"Sorry about disappearing, time got away from me," Bella apologized. Setting the book aside she took a bite of the sandwich on the plate before her.

"Is that a favorite of yours?" Esme asked gesturing to the book.

"It used to be," Bella answered, "it's been so long I'm not sure anymore."

"How long has it been?" Esme asked with polite curiosity.

"I haven't read a book in . . . since I went away," Bella explained hesitating to say how long it had been.

"Five years is a long time to be without something you love," Esme stated sympathetically.

"Yes, it is," Bella agreed. Esme seemed to sense the turn in Bella's mood, and stood to take her leave.

"Well – enjoy your lunch. I'll be back for your dishes later."

"Thank you Esme." When Esme had left Bella ate quickly to get back to her book. Time disappeared as she got lost in the familiar words, but every form of escape has its limits. She was acutely aware of when the other Cullens arrived home when she heard Edward playing the piano. It was not a tune she was familiar with, but the awareness she always felt around him refused to dissipate. Bella stubbornly refused to hide, so she collected the tray with her plate and glass, and exited the library. Ignoring the surreptitious glances she received, Bella headed to the kitchen. Edward continued to play, pretending her appearance hadn't affected him, but she could tell his focus was entirely on her.

Alice sauntered into the kitchen and in a movement Bella couldn't follow she perched on a nearby counter, "How was your day Bella?" she asked brightly.

"Good so far," Bella answered as normally as she could. "I've been catching up on my reading."

"Did you find anything you like?" Alice asked.

"As a matter of fact, I did. _Pride and Prejudice_, I haven't read it in so long it feels good to gill my head with familiar words."

"Do you have any plans tonight?" Alice asked as though Bella had a thriving social life.

"Why?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"Oh, no reason," Alice replied with a shrug. "There is a movie I want to see, but I can't persuade anyone to come with me."

"So you want me to come with you?" Bella asked a little incredulously.

"Bella you are the best!" Alice jumped off the counter and hugged Bella enthusiastically. She scampered off to another part of the house leaving Bella looking after her like a stunned fish, mouth gaping open. There was a low chuckle form the other room that Bella immediately recognized. "I'm glad all of this is so entertaining Emmett," she grumbled knowing he would be able to hear her. This statement earned another laugh, and Bella laughed at the easy familiarity between her and the youngest Cullen.


	4. Chapter 4

The late afternoon hours passed much as the morning had, except Bella now read in the large living room occasionally distracted by conversation or outbursts form the Cullens. Not long after sunset Alice took Bella by the hand and dragged her back to her room. "Come on, we need to get you ready for tonight," Alice announced pulling Bella over to her closet.

"Alice, we are just going to a movie," Bella objected.

"And dinner," Alice corrected sorting through the clothes.

"I still don't see why I have to change," Bella grumbled.

"Because this is your first night out in five years," Alice stated pulling a dress from its hanger. "This is a special occasion," she handed the dress to Bella. "Now, put that on, then we'll do your hair and makeup." Twenty minutes later Bella descended the stairs in a deep blue cotton dress that fit her perfectly, with a pair of sparkling flats, and her hair up in an elaborate twist with makeup that made her eyes shine. Alice was dressed with her usual finesse, walking step-by-step with Bella.

The Cullens all complimented her, and Alice, except Edward, he had taken one look at Bella and frozen in place. "All right," Alice led the way to the door, handing Bella a goat, "let's go."

"See you later," Bella called over her shoulder to the others.

"Yeah, don't wait up," Alice added sarcastically. Bella had to remind herself to breathe as Alice dove at alarming speeds through the city, her anxiety mounting as she came closer to interacting with normal people again. "Bella are you okay?" Alice asked when Bella's distress got worse.

"I'm fine," Bella answered automatically.

"Really?" Alice asked skeptically. Bella didn't answer, "Okay, why are you freaking out?" Alice demanded to know.

"I haven't been . . . I haven't said a word to anyone who isn't a mythical creature or a medical professional for five years," Bella explained. "I don't know how to be around normal people anymore."

"Bella, relax, I'll be right there with you," Alice assured her. "Besides I'll do all the talking for you."

"Thanks," Bella replied, her sarcastic tone marred by the real gratitude she felt. They arrived at the theater within minutes due to Alice's insane speed. Alice led the way through the ticket line and theater, Bella was so anxious she didn't even know what movie they were going to see. Alice kept up a steady stream of topics, covering everything from politics to fashion. It wasn't until the first ten minutes of the movie had passed by that Bella realized it was "a vampire movie?" she exclaimed nearly chocking on her popcorn.

"Yes, well – I like to make fun of them," Alice defended her choice, the words ingrained through years of use.

"No wonder no one in your family wanted to come," Bella whispered deducing the rest of the Cullen's thoughts. "You are crazy," she added with a chuckle. The movie passed quickly with Alice and Bella laughing at all of the movie's mistakes. They exited the theater still laughing earning glares form the other movie goers. Alice led Bella off to the best Mexican restraint in town. "Do you see dinner choices in the future too?" Bella asked flippantly. Once they were seated and Bella had ordered Alice couldn't hold back her feelings anymore.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!" she blurted out.

"For what?" Bella asked shocked at the outburst.

"I never should have left without saying good-bye. Edward was so adamant that we all go at once that I didn't have a chance to –"

"Alice stop," Bella ordered placing her hand on top of Alice's. "You have nothing to apologize for. Carlisle explained everything to me. I don't blame you for what you did. I don't blame any of you."

"Really?" Alice asked skeptically.

"Okay," Bella admitted, "maybe I do blame _one_ of you." She quickly changed the subject, steering the conversation away from Edward and the past five years of her life. Alice went along with it, and they were happy and free of worry for the rest of the evening. They arrived back at the Cullen's, Bella tripping a little over the door frame, laughing hysterically. Bella's clumsy moment just adding to the hilarity of it all, and had them laughing all the harder. "Okay," Bella said when she was finally able to breathe again. "I think I have been up _far_ too late. I'm going to bed," she announced heading for the stairs after giving Alice a brief hug.

"Good night Bella" Esme called after her.

"Good night," she replied with a tired smile. She yawned on her way up to her room, so the rest of the family stayed silent.

Bella and the Cullens fell into a pattern. She would say good bye to Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward (though she never spoke to him directly) in the morning. She and Esme talked for a while then Bella read in the library or her room. When the younger Cullens would come home she would spend time with them talking or learning how to do something new. Play chess, the piano, and she was getting better, but still very basic.

One day, about two weeks after Bella had come to the Cullens, when she sat down to lunch Esme asked a difficult question, and changed things for two members of her family. "Bella do you still love Edward?" Esme asked abruptly. Bella looked up from her plate, startled and wary. "I'm sorry. It's just – Jasper said something your first day here, and I've been so curious, but if you don't –"

"No, Esme," Bella interrupted her. "It's fine; I'm just not sure how to answer you."

"Truthfully," Esme suggested with a familiar anxious crease in her brow.

"Well, truthfully, it doesn't matter," Bella answered. "How I feel about your son and how he feels about me doesn't matter, because I can never let myself be with him again."

"You've said that before," Esme commented, "but I still don't understand why."

"From the very first time he and I met, one thing or another has tried to separate us, and something always will. First it was his vampire nature, and then it was an almost accident, then James. The debacle at my birthday party and then _he_ separated us himself," she paused in her explanation. "And what if we did get back together? He's not going to change me, which means that one day I'm going to die. It might be an accident, but if he has his way it will be old age.

"You know I used to think that one day I would be so wrinkled that he wouldn't want me, but I've come to realize that it may not happen. I think if I let myself go back to him, and I continued to age while he stays 17, that I may resent him long before that. People wouldn't understand and eventually I would see our relationship the way they would. I realized I would hate myself for it, and maybe even hate him. So it really doesn't matter if I love him," Bella concluded with a shrug.

"Oh, Bella," Esme sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" Bella asked with a reassuring smile, but then she felt that strange electricity in the air and the smile faded from her face. "Esme would you excuse me?" she asked, her voice caught in her throat. Bella stood from the table and almost made it to the stairs.

"Bella, wait!" Edward exclaimed faster than any human could move he was by her side. She tried to continue past him, but he reached out and took hold of her hand.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped pulling her hand away, and he let her, worried that he would hurt her if he held on too tight.

"Bella, please don't go," he begged.

"You manipulative bastard!" she hissed. "I cannot believe you right now. You had _Esme_ con me into having a conversation you could overhear!" she almost shouted at him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "but how else am I supposed to know what you're thinking. You won't talk to me," Edward stepped forward again, and Bella stepped back.

"You want to know how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking?" Bella asked tersely.

"Yes," Edward answered his voice grave. Bella slowly nodded to herself, and taking a bracing breath began to speak.

"Okay, I'll tell you. I hate that you have been in my every thought day and night for the past six years. I hate that every time I see your face or hear your voice I go back to that stupid seventeen year old girl who had no idea what she was getting into," a tear rolled down her cheek followed by another, and another. "And I hate that I still love you, and that you love me because this can never work."

"Bella," Edward sighed and reached out to her.

Bella pulled back, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to see him looking at her with so much pain and love. "Why?" she asked opening her eyes. "Why did you have to come back?"

"We came back to protect you," Edward answered.

"No," she sighed, "When we first met, when you went to Alaska," she explained. "Why did you come back? Why couldn't you just leave me alone?" she asked with such agony that Edward couldn't immediately answer. Once more she shook her head, and before he could say anything she turned and ran up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Edward stood at the base of the stairs staring blankly after her. "Edward, I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful," Esme apologized, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"No, this isn't your fault," Edward objected.

"It isn't your fault either," Esme argued.

"She's right though, I have ruined her life."

"Bella didn't say that, she never has. She just finds this situation overwhelming," Esme contradicted him. They both looked up when they heard Bella choke back a sob. Edward turned and ran, faster and faster until the only thing he could feel was the wind on his skin. Until he could hear nothing of the world around him except a kind of white noise, he stopped when he got to the Columbia River the dividing line between Oregon and Washington states. He would have continued on to Canada if he didn't know it wouldn't do any good, but he did know. Edward stood looking at the raw power of steadily moving water, a power nothing, not even a dam could truly stop.

Nature always found a way, and water was nature's blood, always flowing brining life to the planet. As Edward watched the river he thought of Bella and how his love for her was like the water, never stopping, always growing, and giving him life. He had been changed the day he met her, and so had she. When Edward first discovered Bella was in a mental hospital he knew it was his fault, that somehow living near him had put her there. He knew that he had ruined Bella's life, and every conversation they had just confirmed it for him.

Jasper had felt that Bella still loved him. Bella herself had confirmed it, yet every time they spoke it ended painfully for both of them. He had thought that once he was with Bella again everything would work out, that she would forgive him. He was lost, and he didn't know if he would ever find his way.

Bella had been quiet for quite some time staring at the ceiling and hoping her mind would go just as blank, when a knock rapped on the door. "Come in," Bella called out listlessly.

Esme entered the room a little sheepishly, "Bella, how are you?"

"I'm alright. Sorry for causing such a scene earlier," Bella sighed as she sat up.

"No, I'm sorry I should have told you the real reason for my curiosity." Esme and Bella gazed at each other apologetically. "I have something for you, that may brighten up your day," from behind her back Esme revealed a drawing pad and pencils.

"Oh, Esme," Bella gasped. She leapt to her feet and rushed to her side, "I've missed drawing so much, thank you!"

Esme handed over the supplies with a smile, "Carlisle said you're quite good."

"That's sweet of him to say," Bella replied, embarrassed. "It's pretty much the only thing I've done for the past few years."

"Would you draw something for me?" Esme requested.

"Sure, what do you want me to draw? Bella asked a little surprised.

"Me," Esme replied. Bella laughed and set to work. As Bella drew they talked about the past and the present, things that had changed and things that were the same. "Up here," Esme suddenly said after a few minutes of silence.

"What?" Bella asked looking up from her drawing pad.

"The others are home," she explained with a small smile.

"Just in time then," Bella announced setting down her pencil.

"In time for what?" Emmett asked, he stepped into the room followed by Jasper and Rosalie. "To give us your opinion," Bella answered holding up the drawing. There was utter silence for a moment before they spoke.

"Wow," Rosalie sighed. "Well done," Jasper added. Bella smiled and handed the portrait to Esme.

"Oh, Bella, that is wonderfully done," Esme smiled brightly.

"Thank you," Bella smiled in return, slightly embarrassed by the praise. "Well, I think some of you have homework to do, and I wouldn't mind taking a nap," she said trying to empty her bedroom. Emmett laughed the loudest as they left her alone. Over the next few days Bella sat around the house with her drawing pad and pencils, sketching away. On the following Tuesday Esme brought Bella a tray with lunch up to her room to find her sitting at her desk. "Is that our house?" she asked setting the tray down at her elbow.

"Yeah," Bella answered. "I had an idea of a present for you, as a thank you for everything you've done."

"A present?" Esme asked a little confused.

"A family portrait," Bella pulled out another sheet showing several rough composition sketches.

"You are a wonderful girl Bella, you always have been," Esme smiled and gave Bella a gentle hug. "I'll leave you to it." Days passed and Bella spent most of her time in her room, drawing, eventually Edward came up to see her.

Bella set down her pencil as soon as she realized someone he was there, "What?" she asked tersely.

"I need to talk to you," Edward announced. Bella shook her head and was about to speak when he interrupted. "I know you don't want to talk to me, but I have some things I need to say to you. Can you just listen?"

"Fine," Bella sighed, "talk."

"I'm sorry Bella, for so many things. The last time we spoke you asked me why I came back and the truth is I think I was already falling in love with you. I knew then that I should have stayed away, I knew all too well what could happen to a human if they were around vampires, and I didn't want that to happen to you. Despite all the precautions I took you were almost killed more than once, so I thought I had to leave to save you. Believe me if I had known what would happen to you I never would have left.

"I am so sorry Bella, but I still love you, I always will. I don't know if you could ever be with me again, but I hope someday you can forgive me." Edward stood in the doorway waiting for her to speak, or acknowledge what he'd said.

"I think we both know that love was never our problem," Bella finally stated. "As painful as all of this still is for me I understand why you left, and I forgive you for that." She paused but continued when she saw his expression brighten. "As for being with you that all depends on you," she concluded.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked hopeful but confused.

"If I were to be with you, you would have to change me into a vampire," she explained succinctly.

"Bella, you don't know what you're asking, what you'd be sacrificing," Edward argued.

"After six years I think I've got the concept down," Bella said derisively.

"I can't," Edward replied his expression tortured.

"You used to say changing me into a vampire would be the most selfish thing you could ask for, but you're wrong; this living at your side as a human, growing older while you stay frozen – this is the most selfish thing you could ask for." Bella paused watching Edward as he digested that information. "I'm going to make this simple for you. Either you change me into a vampire and we pick up where we left off, or you don't and we resign ourselves to being alone for the rest of your time together. I will not be with you, and be human. Now if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do."

Bella turned back to her paper and picked up her pencil. She heard the door make a soft click as it closed. Bella closed her eyes for a moment trying to block out the memory of Edward's expression before she went back to drawing.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, as Bella worked in the afternoon she heard a familiar tune, a lullaby coming from the main floor of the house. She set down her drawing and left her room; pausing at the top of the staircase she tried to remember why the song was so familiar. Bella slowly descended the stairs listening as she went, freezing when she saw Edward at the piano.

A small intake of breath and Jasper, Alice and Esme immediately turned their attention to her. "Bella are you alright?" Esme asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Bella replied quickly her voice very quiet. "I think I've just been sitting in my room for too long. I'm going to go for a walk." Bella stepped toward the back door.

"Be careful," Esme cautioned. Bella nodded and stepped brusquely into the woods. She walked faster and faster until she was running. Without a sound Jasper and Alice were at her side, and she realized she was sobbing. Jasper plucked Bella off her feet and ran with her out of the hearing range of the vampires in the house. Bella was gasping for air as Jasper set her down in the roots of a tree. Alice wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her close. "Bella it's okay to talk here, Edward can't hear us," Alice assured her.

"Bella," Jasper called her attention gently. "Why are you in pain?" he asked. Bella stared at him for a minute trying to control her breathing. He continued to explain what she had felt, "When you saw Edward playing the piano you felt love, and sadness and pain, why?"

"When all of you left," Bella finally had control of her breathing, but there were still tears coursing down her cheeks. "It was like someone had punched a hole in my chest. Everything was torn out. I couldn't feel my heart, I couldn't breathe – my lungs – and then I went to the hospital. My world shattered, I shattered. It took me years to piece myself back together. Now every time I see him, or he does or says something that reminds me of the past the seams crack. I'm just afraid that if I break again that no one will be able to put me back together."

Bella, Alice, and Jasper sat in silence for a moment. Jasper then stood and went back to the house leaving the girls alone. "I don't think I can keep doing this Alice," Bella gasped, "I don't think I can stay."

"Oh, Bella," Alice suddenly froze, her gaze sliding from Bella's face to some far off point.

"Alice what do you see?" Bella asked finally distracted from her pain.

"They'll be here in two days," Alice announced, her eyes still focused elsewhere.

"The Volturi?" Alice once again shifted her gaze to Bella. That was all the confirmation she needed.

"I have to tell the others," Alice stood to go, but Bella reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her.

"No, wait!" Bella pleaded. "Don't tell them yet."

"Why not?" Alice asked shocked at Bella's reaction. A moment later she understood, "You're leaving?"

"I have to," Bella replied, "Alice, please understand. "I can't put your family in danger again, and you can't protect me form the Volturi. You know you can't."

"Bella, the family watches you like a pack of hawks, you can't just run away," Alice argued.

"You said we have two days right?" Bella tried to confirm.

"Yes," Alice reluctantly answered.

"Okay, just give me one day and I'll be able to do it," Bella requested desperately.

"Bella . . . how long have you been planning this?" Alice sat down next to her again.

"I've been thinking about it since I got here, but I'm going to need your help. Your family is going on a hunting trip tomorrow night, one of you always stays behind with me; just make sure it's you. I'll go and when your family comes back tell them about your vision and you can take care of the Volturi," Bella explained with growing energy.

Alice gazed at Bella thinking, weighing the options, "Alright," Alice agreed, "but there are a few things I need to do to get ready."

"Okay," they stood and went back to the house. That night Bella spent some time with the family. Jasper and Rosalie sat and chatted with her as she ate supper, Rosalie mostly complaining about the "silly mortals" at their school. Emmett challenged her to a game of chess, and won spectacularly. Esme and Carlisle spoke to her about life, and how she was getting along. Bella promised that the portrait would be ready the next day with a surprise twist.

Alice spent most of the night moving from room to room collecting random items, and then after Bella went to bed she disappeared to her and Jasper's room with a laptop. The next day Bella said goodbye to the Cullen "kids" as usual, then locked herself up in her room. She came down once around noon to get some food, and said a quick hello to Esme before going back. At 5 o'clock, just before the Cullens were about to leave on their hunting trip Bella called the Cullens up to her room. Once they were all crammed in Bella began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a gift," with a flourish Bella revealed a framed picture of the family.

"Oh Bella, it's wonderful!" Esme exclaimed beaming with joy.

"Nice," Emmett complimented her.

"It's actually a two part surprise," Bella stated. "As you can see this portrait is made of different panels." She held out a portfolio to Esme, inside were more drawings, pages of the family doing various things. "You can mix and match, change the picture any time you want," Bella explained with a smile. Before she could blink Bella was wrapped in Esme's arms.

"Thank you Bella," Esme whispered.

"I want a chance to eat at some point," Alice complained form the back of the room, "So all of you should really get going." Emmett chuckled a little and the family left. Bella and Alice stood there silently until she gave the signal that the others were out of range. "Okay, I've got everything ready for you," Alice announced. She pulled a suitcase form the top of the closet, Bella could tell by the sound it made as it settled on the bed that it was already mostly full.

"Alice when did you pack that?" Bella asked once again astonished by her clairvoyant friend.

"I knew you would be leaving at some point," Alice answered sadly.

"Oh, Alice," Bella was quickly interrupted by Alice.

"Don't Bella, I understand," she put Bella's art supplies in the top pocket of the suitcase and led the way down the stairs and out to the garage.

"Take my Audi," Alice opened the trunk of the car and put the suitcase in. "This phone is encrypted, no one will be able to trace it," she handed the phone to Bella. "I'm the only one with the number, and it only calls me. I've also set up a bank account you can withdraw from anytime you need to, that's on the phone too. Don't decide where you're going until you have to."

"Alice," Bella caught her gaze holding her friend there. "Thank you. I love you like a sister, and I will be your friend for the rest of my life." They shared a quick hug, Alice gave Bella the keys, and she drove away. Alice went back to the house to await the return of the family and found a note Bella had left behind.

My dearest Friends

I am so sorry to leave all of you like this, to walk away when you have done so much for me. As you probably know by now, the Volturi will be there soon, and I cannot let any of you be hurt on my account. Once they know I'm gone, hopefully they will leave you in peace. Keep each other safe. I love you all.

Bella


	6. Chapter 6

Bella drove until she reached the freeway, then she had to decide North or South. An image of 1st Beach at La Push entered her mind, and the overwhelming desire to see it again decided for her, North. She stopped for dinner, then at a small motel for a few hours of sleep, but she was too anxious to stay long so she drove on through the wee hours of the morning.

Dawn was breaking as Bella arrived on the beach. The sky was clear with tinges of gold and orange. She quickly pulled her drawing supplies from the trunk and began to sketch. The sun was up, and climbing in the sky when she heard footsteps coming toward her. In the hours since dawn she had walked along the beach and found the log with the roots sticking up like tentacles. She remembered it from the day she first hear the theory that the Cullens could be vampires. Now as someone approached she grew worried that it might be to chase her way.

"Bella?" a surprised voice called out to her. Slowly she turned to look at the person who had recognized her. "Wow, Bella Swan. I didn't think we'd ever see you around here again."

"Jacob?" Bella slid off the log and walked over to him. "Jacob Black, I thought you would have gotten out of here the moment you could."

"You were right, I'm just here visiting my dad," Jacob replied. They started walking down the beach, falling into step.

"So are you at school, or did you get a career already?" Bella asked with a smile.

"School, I'm down at UC Berkley," Jacob answered with a smile of his own.

"Berkley, wow! You know, I always thought you would do well," Bella stated, surprised by how easy it was to talk to him.

"Your dad said you were in Florida with your mom," Jacob stated with an odd note in his voice.

"It sounds like you didn't believe him," Bella replied with another smile.

"We let him think we believed, it seemed to make him feel better," Jacob explained. There was a momentary pause before he continued, "Does that make sense?"

Bella laughed, "Yes, it made perfect sense." She paused then, debating what to say. "Do you want to know where I really was?" she asked skeptical that she should.

"I think I do," Jacob replied a little confused by her tone.

"Okay," Bella sighed. "I was in a mental hospital in Oregon for five years," she said quietly.

"Really?' Jacob asked.

"Yeah," Bella confirmed. They walked in silence for a few moments, Bella worrying that she had said too much.

"They really kept you there for five years?" Jacob asked. Bella nodded and Jacob raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know they can keep people who aren't crazy."

Bella smiled at his attempt to play it cool, "Only if you don't talk to the doctors. They let me go about a month ago. I decided to visit the beach one more time before I head off to restart my life."

"Do you know where you'll go?" Jacob asked with a little more interest than she thought he would have.

"Not yet. I'm kind of letting the winds take me where they want," she replied whimsically.

"Well, if you find yourself in Berkley look me up," Jacob invited. He took a step back, then another and another.

"Maybe I will," Bella finally replied. They smiled at each other before Jacob left the beach. Bella stayed watching the waves for a few minutes before she left too. Climbing into her car Bella pulled out a road map and looked at all the places she could go, simply by following a freeway or highway, and decided not to decide on a destination. She put the car in reverse and headed quickly out of La Push.

Over the next week she wandered from town to town. Sometimes she would stop in a small town, then in a big city travelling down the west coast. At every stop she looked around waiting for a reason to stay, but she didn't find it. Eventually, as she moved south she started to drift further inland. One day she looked up at a read sign that directed her to take the next exit to reach UC Berkley. Without a moment's thought she took the exit. Refusing to actually go onto the college campus Bella explored the city of Berkley.

Cafés, a mall, everything you would expect in an American city. Eventually she stumbled into one of the older housing districts, and it was there that she found her reason to stay. The house reminded her of something Esme would love to remodel, bring it back to its original glory before putting the Cullen twist on the interior. There was a notice of foreclosure in the yard and across the door. Bella smiled to herself and wrote the number down. Backtracking she found a diner that looked promising and went to inside to order a late lunch.

While she ate Bella looked though the newspaper for an apartment or house to rent, and started looking for a realtor to help her buy the house. It wasn't until a few days later, when she was approved to move into an apartment that Alice called. Bella knew it was her because the call came in on the encrypted phone. "Hey Alice," Bella answered the phone.

"Hi Bella," Alice greeted her. "So – Berkley?" she asked.

Bella paused at Alice's excitedly knowing tone, "Why do you say it like that?" she asked in turn, suspicion dripping from every word.

"I'm just wondering if it has something to do with the Native American boy I saw you talking to last week," Alice phrased it like a question, but her tone made it a statement. Alice wasn't really asking, she already knew Jacob Black was one of the major deciding factors in her moving to Berkley California.

"Okay, you got me," Bella quickly admitted defeat knowing how insufferable Alice could be when she was determined to know something. "What do you want to know?" Bella asked. They spent the next half hour discussing Jacob Black, her plans for her future in Berkley and Bella's choice in profession and housing.

"The others are coming back," Alice abruptly announced, breaking though Bella's sentence.

"Okay, talk to you later," Bella replied quickly.

"Yeah," Alice agreed, and almost as though they had planned it Bella and Alice pressed the end button on their phones. Bella quickly made herself at home in Berkley. Her offer on the house was accepted and the paperwork went through quickly and smoothly. Once the house was her she began two sets of research, remodeling and vampire. Bella spoke to architects, construction companies, and permit experts. She also called Alice several times to ask questions that seemed extremely odd to her vampire sister. "How thick does a wall have to be to stop a vampire? What is the toughest material for a vampire to break through? Can a biometric security system tell if you're alive or dead?"

Alice patiently answered Bella's questions, holding her own curiosity in check for once. Bella began construction on her house, starting on the basement, installing a few unusual upgrades to the upper floors of the house. Knowing the house would take several months to be completed and not wanting to use the Cullen's money for her everyday needs Bella started working as a street portrait artist to pay her living expenses.

A few months into her new life as a street artist she met Jacob again. It was near dusk and she was just finishing with her last client when she felt that someone was watching her. Unable to shake the feeling, but unwilling to acknowledge that she was aware someone was watching Bella finished the portrait with a flourish and handed it over to her thankful customer.

"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon," a husky male voice commented. Bella fought to keep a smile from her face as she turned around to face the man who had spoken.

"Jacob Black, what a surprise," Bella exclaimed dryly still fighting the urge to smile.

Jacob didn't hold back his own smile, "So what made you decide on Berkley? Was it the wind?" Jacob added the last question jokingly. Not so subtly showing her that he remembered their last conversation perfectly.

"It seems the wind felt I would be happy here," she agreed lightheartedly allowing her smile to break through at last. "I haven't seen you around this part of town before," she added as she began packing up her art supplies.

"Finals," Jacob explained brusquely. "I've been strapped to a library desk studying."

"Sounds wonderful," Bella commented with another smile as she placed her art bag on her shoulder and picked up her easel.

"It's all part of the college experience, right?" Jacob shrugged and fell in step beside her. "My last final is Monday, and I was wondering if you would agree to celebrate with me?" he asked formally, but without an ounce of nervousness.

Bella was amazed at his easy confidence and felled compelled to ask, "Celebrate how?"

"Let me take you out to dinner," he stated. "It will be the perfect end to a long semester, and I can introduce you to one of my favorite restaurants." Jacob watched Bella as she contemplated for a minute before she answered.

"Alright," she agreed. "Pick me up at 7 o'clock, sharp," she instructed.

"That sounds perfect," Jacob sighed in relief. Apparently he hadn't been as sure as he seemed, "What's your address?" he asked.

Bella smiled, "I'm in number six," she said pointing to the building behind them, a mere three blocks from where she drew. Jacob nodded with a smile and turned to walk back the way he'd come. "See you Monday," he called over his shoulder. Bella smiled to herself and went up to her apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: some people may not really like where this chapter heads, but I promise you it's only temporary.**

The weekend passed uneventfully, but Monday saw Bella closing up early so she could prepare to her date. She had to admit she was really out of practice with the whole dating thing, since her last date had been seven years before with a vampire who had been alive for a hundred years plus change.

Deciding simple was best Bella selected a simple cotton dress in a dark shade of blue that perfectly complimented her skin tone, added a little makeup and called it good. A knock sounded on her door at precisely 7 o'clock and she smiled at Jacob's prompt appearance. He had also dressed only slightly better than a t-shirt and jeans, Bella smiled as she took in his khaki pants and simple button-up shirt. "You look amazing Bells," Jacob exclaimed easily falling back on the nick-name her father had once used.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she replied blushing a little at his compliment. Jacob offered his arm and Bella smiled as she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and let him lead her out of her building and down the street. "So, where is this great restaurant of yours?' Bella asked.

"Not far," Jacob replied mysteriously. She laughed quietly and followed him as he led her through the streets. They walked for several more minutes until Jacob stopped outside a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. Jacob and Bella shared a small smile as she held open the door for her. They talked and laughed over dinner, and then Jacob took her on a tour of the college just a few blocks further down the road.

Conversation between them was effortless and light, and as the evening wound down they fell into a companionable silence. Jacob walked Bella back to her apartment and waited as she unlocked the door. "I had a good time tonight," Bella stated leaving the door closed, in no hurry for the night to end.

"Me too," Jacob agreed. They stood in a charged silence for a minute before Bella decided to break the tension.

"Well, I'd better get inside, early day tomorrow." Bella excused herself, opening the door and taking a step into her apartment.

"Good night Bella," Jacob sighed.

"Good night," she replied with a smile. Jacob turned and walked down the hall. Bella didn't close the door until Jacob was out of sight, then with another smile she got ready for bed. As usual Bella woke with the sun, got ready for a day of work and went out to her little patch of sidewalk. At noon she put up a sign that she was taking her lunch break and smiled when she saw someone approaching.

"Hey," Jacob greeted her.

"Hey yourself," Bella smiled as he came to stand beside her.

"I thought you might like to have lunch with me," Jacob invited.

"Sure," Bella replied easily. She led the way to a nearby café where she usually ate lunch.

"Hey Phoenix," the girl behind the counter greeted Bella as she stepped up to the counter to order.

"Hi Fiona," Bella replied.

"The usual?' Fiona asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Bella answered. Jacob ordered as well and they went to sit together at a table.

"Phoenix?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"It's my artist name. I got it from my old home town, I grew up in Phoenix, and I thought it was fitting. This is the start of my new life, kind of like I'm rising from the ashes," Bella explained.

"I like it," Jacob replied with a smile, "it's a lot more creative than anything I could have come up with," he added.

"Oh, I don't know," Bella contradicted, "you seem imaginative to me."

"Really?" Jacob asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Bella said with a smile taking a bite of her sandwich. Over the next week Bella and Jacob had lunch together several more times, and dinner once more. Three weeks after their first date they shared their first kiss. Jacob had just walked Bella to her door and as they said goo night Jacob leaned in and kissed her gently, chastely. It was Bella, surprising them both, who prolonged the kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck. Taking advantage of her acceptance Jacob pulled her close and deepened the kiss. They were both slightly breathless as Bella pulled away, effectively ending the kiss. "Good night Jake," she sighed as she opened her apartment door.

"Good night Bella," Jacob replied. He stood in the hall for a minute savoring the memory before he left to go back to his own apartment. Time seemed to pass quickly, what felt like only days later to Bella and Jacob was almost two months of lunches, dinners, movies and leisurely walks. They could talk on any subject for hours and the only arguments they had were over what they should have for dinner, or what movie they wanted to see.

Once night they were sitting together in Bella's apartment sporadically talking about things that came to mind, but eventually they fell silent. Jacob was holding Bella to his chest as they lounged on the sofa when he finally chose to speak about something that had been on his mind for a while. "Bells," he said to get her attention.

"Hmm?" she asked noncommittally, only vaguely interested.

"I have something to ask you," he stated nervously.

"Okay," Bella replied still not looking at him. When Jacob didn't immediately ask Bella sat up to look at him. She could tell he was incredibly nervous. "Jake you can ask me anything," she assured him earnestly.

"Bella, I know we've only been dating for a few months but I've known you for most of my life, and I've been thinking about us being together for so long that now that I have you I don't want to let you go. So with all of that in mind . . ." Jacob paused and pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket. "Isabella Swan, will you marry me?" he asked finally forming the words he most wanted to say.

Bella was silent for a whole minute just staring at the ring Jacob had picked out for her. It was modest and it wasn't a diamond, but to Bella it was the most beautiful ring in the world. Jacob waited patiently for Bella's answer, not pressuring her, knowing that her brain would catch up to the moment eventually. Finally Bella looked up to Jacob's face and exclaimed, "Yes! Yes I'll marry you." a smile burst across her face followed a moment later by Jacob's own grin. He quickly slid the ring on her finger and they kissed.

Before they had even a moment to celebrate Bella's phone rang, but it wasn't the apartment phone or even her normal cell phone. It was what she had dubbed the 'Alice phone.' "I really have to get that, or it will just keep ringing," Bella excused herself as she pulled away from Jacob.

"That's okay, I should call my dad anyway and tell him the news," Jacob replied easily, and slipped his own phone out of his pocket. Bella gave him one more quick kiss and ran to answer the 'Alice phone.'

"Hi Alice," Bella greeted her a little trepidatiously.

"Bella why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?" Alice exclaimed more annoyed with Bella's lack of sharing than anything else.

"Well . . . for one thing I thought you probably knew, and I didn't think things had come so far," Bella replied a little amused by Alice's initial reaction to her vision. She was sure that eventually Alice would have discovered everything on her own, so there was no point in talking about it before then.

"Bella, are you happy?" Alice asked her voice sounding anxious and concerned to Bella's ears.

"I'm ecstatic!" Bella exclaimed earnestly. "Honestly, I never thought that this would happen, but now that it has – I couldn't be happier."

"Then that's all there is to it," Alice stated. Bella thought for a moment, just a moment that Alice sounded disappointed, but when she spoke again Alice was bright and enthusiastic. "I wish you all the happiness in the world!"

"Thanks," Bella smiled and rolled her eyes, a little amused by Alice's energetic wishes. Jacob interrupted just then by stepping around the corner, holding out his phone to Bella.

"Bells you dad wants to talk to you," he informed her in a whisper.

"_My_ dad?" she asked. Jacob nodded silently; Bella took a deep breath, said a quick "call you later" to Alice and took the phone from Jacob. "Hello?" she said tentatively making it sound like a very uncertain question.

"Bella?" Charlie, her father asked in return, "Is that really you?"

"Yeah, dad, it's me," Bella replied, her voice was guarded and uncertain, and she grasped Jacob's hand. He gave her the emotional support she desperately needed.

"What are you doing in California?" Charlie demanded to know sounding extremely worried.

"I guess the hospital never called you," Bella stated. "I had a new doctor for only about a week before he transferred me to a private hospital. I was there for about a month before they determined me completely sane and let me go." Bella hoped that her explanation was both detailed, and vague enough to satisfy Charlie.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Charlie sounded a little relieved, and hurt, and more than a little suspicious.

"I didn't want to complicate your life," she replied lamely. "I mean, you've gone through so much in the past few years. Besides I thought, you know, maybe if I started over that we could both have a better chance of being happy and putting the whole thing behind us."

"Bella –" Charlie sighed.

"I don't blame you dad," there was a silence thick with meaning.

"Well . . . are you happy?" Charlie finally asked.

"Yes, I am very happy," Bella replied smiling up at Jacob.

"Let me talk to Jacob," Charlie ordered. Bella immediately handed the phone back to Jacob. She couldn't hear their conversation, but she guessed it was some kind of lecture from all of Jacob's "I will," and "I won't" and "I promise" responses. When Jacob finally hung up the phone they both let out a sigh of relief.

"So, was he threatening to hunt you down if you don't take care of me?" Bella asked half joking.

"Among other things," Jacob replied with a shrug.

"What other things?" Bella's tone was sharp with suspicion. Jacob didn't answer for a minute, allowing Bella to guess. "He's afraid I'm going to relapse and he wants you to send me back to a hospital if I do," she stated.

"He's a little worried, but I think that's just because of all the news," Jacob tried to reassure her. "I mean, he didn't even know you were in California and now you're getting married. It was just the shock talking," Bella smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

"Sure, sure," she replied, something she had picked up from Jacob. They spoke for a while longer and eventually Jacob went home. Once he left Bella called Alice again. "Sorry about earlier, but I had to talk to Charlie for the first time since he left me in Oregon."

"How are you doing with that?" Alice asked hearing how tired Bella was.

"Okay, I suppose, I don't really know yet," Bella replied. She paused deciding if she really wanted to ask her next question. "Alice when we were talking earlier, you sounded a little disappointed that I'm marrying Jacob . . . were you?"

"No!" Alice immediately denied, "I was just a little sad that you're not going to be my sister – officially."

"So, you were disappointed," Bella concluded. "It's okay," she continued before Alice could say anything. "I understand why," she paused once more before continuing. "Just don't tell the others, at least until after. I don't want Edward popping up trying to change my mind."

"Okay," Alice promised. "If you need any help with the preparations just give me a call. I could even come out for a couple days."

Bella laughed a little at Alice's new found enthusiasm, "I'll keep that in mind," she replied. Over the next few months Bella made a few calls to Alice, asking her opinion on designers and companies. She had Jacob spent half the time talking about the wedding and the other half talking about their lives after. It was during this time that Bella confessed that she owned a house free and clear. Jacob wanted to see it and was surprised by the expertly restored Victorian home.

The last of the construction finished two weeks before the wedding, and Bella spent most of that time furnishing the house and moving her and Jacob's things into it, except for the bare essentials.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything for the wedding went off without a hitch, so the night before there big day Bella and Jacob were lounging in her mostly bare apartment just enjoying each other's company when a knock came to the door. "Who could that be?" Bella amused aloud.

"I don't know, but they have good timing, I have to go," Jacob replied standing up to leave.

"No, wait," Bella pleaded. "Stay just a couple more minutes. I'll go see who it is and be right back."

Jacob laughed at her pouting face and agreed, "Okay, but I shouldn't stay too much longer, or we'll be in trouble." Bella smiled and rushed off to answer the door. When she saw who it was the smile faded from her face. "Hello Bella," Edward Cullen greeted her.

"Bells, who is it?" Jacob asked from the other room.

"Just someone asking for directions," she called over her shoulder. "I'll be back in a minute." Bella stepped out the door into the cold night air and shut it behind her. "What are you _doing_ here?" Bella demanded to know.

"I'm here to take you home," Edward stated. "You don't have to hide here anymore."

"I'm not hiding," Bella argued, "and there is no way in hell I'm going to go anywhere with you. I'm getting _married_ tomorrow."

"I know," Edward replied.

"You know?" Bella asked baffled. "Edward, I don't understand you. If you know that I'm getting married, why are you here?"

"I told you, I'm here to take you home. Bella I love you and –"

"You want me to run off with you the night before my wedding, and hurt Jacob far more than you ever hurt me," Bella stated her tone almost venomous. "I _love_ Jacob, and I am going to marry him tomorrow. He can give me a life that you _never _could." Edward froze all objections and arguments stopping before they could make it out of his mouth. "He can give me children. He can grow old at my side. He can give me a human life. Isn't that what you always wanted for me?"

"Yes," Edward agreed. "That is what I wanted for you."

"Then if you truly love me, please, please leave and don't come back," Bella begged. "Let me live my human life as long as I can, and if the Volturi come for me I'll deal with it, don't come back just because they come after me."

"Good bye Bella," Edward sighed. "I love you," he added as he turned and disappeared. Bella fought back tears as she whispered, "I love you too."

"Bells you okay?" Jacob asked as he stepped out the front door.

"Yeah, the guy was smoking, I just wanted to breathe some fresher air," she lied.

"Okay," he agreed with her story readily. "It's late, and tomorrow is our big day."

"I'll see you tomorrow," she agreed giving Jacob a quick kiss. "I love you," she called after him as he descended the stairs.

"Yeah, but I said it first," Jacob joked. Bella smiled and watched him leave. When she re-entered the house her 'Alice phone' was ringing. "Are you okay?" Alice asked as soon as Bella answered the phone, her voice dripping with concern.

"I thought I was over him," Bella explained. "I thought that if I ever saw him again I would be able to look at him without that bone crushing need to be in his arms."

"So . . . not okay," Alice concluded.

Bella laughed, "Yeah," she agreed. "I didn't think it was possible, but I said no. I still love him, and I always will. Only now I have someone else who I love. So in the end I'll be alright."

Bella woke the next morning full of excitement. The time leading up to the ceremony was a flurry of activity. Hair dresser and makeup artist appointments then before putting on her dress checking and re-checking that everything was in place and going well. Finally she let it all go, and enjoyed her big day. The look on Jacob's face when he first saw her walking down the aisle was enough to sustain her for years, and the absolute love in his voice when he said "I do" made her happier than anything.

Two blissful weeks in Hawaii later and they were back in Berkley. Jacob was back in school and Bella was selling art on the edge of campus. A few months later Bella found out she was pregnant. Several weeks later Alice called to congratulate Bella and give her a big surprise, "Twins!" she exclaimed. "I can see it clear as day. You, my friend, are going to have twins," Alice stated confidently.

"Well I guess that saves me the trouble of worrying about it," Bella commented dryly.

"You'll do fine," Alice assured her. "I've always thought you would make an excellent mother."

"Really?" Bella asked surprised by the sentiment.

"Of course! You're always thinking of others before you think of yourself, and you have this fierce protection instinct," Alice explained.

"Thanks – I think," Bella and Alice laughed a little, and spoke of other things for a while. The days the twins were born was surprisingly simple and trying. Bella was home with Fiona from the café when the labor pains started. Fiona drove her to the hospital while Bella called Jacob. He got there just in time to hold his first daughter, the second not too far behind.

Bella and Jacob decided to name the girls Aiyana and Ankti. The news spread among their families and the visitors kept knocking on the door. A week later a very large package arrived, it was shipped express from Australia. From the shipping order Bella was able to deduce that it was from Alice. The package was shipped the day _before_ the twins were born. Inside were enough toys, clothes and books to entertain and clothe ten children for six years. Jacob was amazed, and Bella laughed it off.

That night Bella watched form the doorway as Jacob put the babies down for the night, "What?' Jacob asked with a smile.

"Nothing, just watching my family," Bella replied.

"Are you alright?" Jacob asked.

"Jake, this may sound strange, but I have to ask you something," Bella stated as she joined him in the nursery.

"What is it?" Jacob was becoming worried by how anxious she seemed.

"I you were given the choice between saving yourself, and dying for someone you love . . . what would you do?" she asked as she looked down at their daughters.

"Bella," he paused.

"Please, just answer the question," she begged.

"If it meant saving you or the girls, or my father, I would choose to die," Jacob answered solemnly, still confused by her anxiety.

Bella was silent for a moment gazing into his eyes, "Well, it's a good thing you'll never have to make that choice," she sighed and walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the next two years Jacob finished his degree and got a job able to fully support them. Bella became a stay-at-home mom, still finding the time to paint, Bella cared for Aiyana and Ankti 24/7. Several weeks before the girls turned two, Bella began acting very strangely. Jacob noticed her staring out of the windows of the house at twilight. She barely slept, and was awake before dawn.

One day as she was gazing into the yard Bella gasped. The phone in her hand rang and Bella immediately answered, "How long?" she asked.

"Not long," Alice replied.

"Alice I need specifics," Bella's breathing accelerated as she watched the trees.

"Five minutes," Alice answered.

"I'll call you after if I can," Bella hung up and Bella called for Jacob.

"What, what is it?" Jacob asked rushing to her side.

"Come with me," she took him by the hand and pulled him up the stairs to their bedroom. Opening the closet she pushed aside the clothes exposing a panel of what looked like a security system. Bella placed her hand on the scanner and a door opened. "Jake, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I need you to collect the girls. This is an elevator that will take you to the basement. I built a shelter down there it will keep you safe until morning."

"Safe? Bells what the hell is going on?" Jacob demanded to know.

"I don't have time to explain, and you wouldn't believe me if I did. The important thing right now is that some men are here to take me away, and I have to go with them or they will kill us all." Bella tried to explain without giving any details. "Listen Jake, do you remember just after the girls were born I asked you if you were given a choice to save yourself or someone you love, what would you choose?"

Jacob paused for a moment before answering, "Someone I love."

"Exactly, now Jake I have to go and you have to protect our daughters, you have to tell them I love them every day."

"I will, you just do your best to come back to me," Jacob ordered.

"I am so _proud_ to be your wife," Bella kissed him, opened the door of the elevator, and gave him one last message. "Get the girls, keep them safe, and _don't_ come after me. They need their father." Bella left making her way down stairs she heard Jacob go to their daughter's room a moment later.

When she finally arrived back at the window the sun was behind the trees, and she could see two cloaked and hooded figures standing in the yard. She went out the back door and met them, with a knife in her hand pressed against her own wrist. "There is no need for that," one of the figures stated.

"Oh, I don't know, if it guarantees my family's safety I think it is necessary," Bella replied dryly pushing the blade a little deeper. "Before I go with you I want a guarantee that you won't touch my husband and children. They don't know about your kind, and your laws have no claim on them."

"Ultimately it is Aro's decision, but we will not touch them – tonight," the other vampire answered.

"I suppose that will have to do," Bella agreed. She picked up several rocks, turned and threw them so they broke several pots and a window. "Okay, let's go," she stepped toward them. One of them picked her up and carried her to a car in seconds. Faster than Bella would have liked they were off. She sat gazing out the window watching as the city passed her by. They arrived at a hotel near the airport, just as the last light of the sun's light left the sky. The two vampires escorted her through the front door without a glance to anyone, thought plenty of women looked at them.

Bella's expression was carefully neutral as she stepped into the enclosed space of an elevator with two of the deadliest creatures on hearth. "I'm curious," she stated trying to break the quiet, "do the Volturi guard have names, or do you just go about dispensing justice?"

"Why do you want to know our names?" one of them asked in return.

"Like I said, just curious," she replied.

"We are Felix and Demitri," the same vampire replied. The elevator doors opened and Bella sighed, "Well it was nice to meet you," she added sarcastically. Felix and Demitri guided her into the penthouse suite of the hotel stopping her in front of a vampire unlike any she had seen before.

"Ahh, you must be Bella," the vampire smiled benevolently. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you," he held out his hand to her. Knowing refusing would do no good Bella extended her own hand placing it in his. They stood like that for almost a minute, hands clasped, his eyes gazing into hers.

"It's not working is it?" Bella asked.

"What do you mean?" Aro asked his brow furrowing.

"You read minds don't you?" she asked rhetorically. "For some reason vampiric powers like that don't affect me. So if you want to know something you should just ask."

"Very well," Aro agreed dropping her hand. "Have you told anyone of our existence?"

"Not even when I was being treated as a paranoid schizophrenic," Bella answered honestly.

"Interesting," Aro observed, "It seems that silence is a gift of yours." He was silent for a moment deliberating, "A choice lies before you Isabella. The law claims your life, your human life."

"Wait," Bella interrupted in shock. "You want to make me a vampire?" she asked.

"Clever too," Aro observed before continuing. "Your human life is over no matter what you choose," he stated decisively. "I am offering you the chance to spare your family and the Cullens."

"At what cost?" Bella asked tying to keep her anger in check.

"Oh, don't think of it as a cost," Aro suggested. "Think of it as a trade. Twenty years, twenty short years of service in the guard and everyone goes free," he offered smiling once again.

"Why so little time?" Bella asked skeptically. Aro seemed confused, "Twenty years is an awfully short amount of time for your kind."

"The length of time is not important," Aro replied cryptically, "your choice is." Silence filled the room. Bella took a breath to answer, and her phone rang. She closed her eyes and pulled it from her pocket.

"I _have_ to answer this," Bella stated before answering the phone, "Not now."

"Bella what do you think you're doing?" Alice demanded to know.

"I'm doing what I must," Bella answered.

"You can't –"

"Look after my girls," Bella interrupted. "Make sure they grow up."

"I promise," Alice agreed. "I'll miss you."

"I'll see you soon," Bella replied fighting back tears, she hung up.

"You agree to my terms?" Aro asked.

"Yes," Bella answered. Aro positively beamed as he gave instructions to Felix Demitri to prepare for their departure. There were phone calls, bags packed. One of the vampires was sent to find her passport with strict instructions that her family was not to be harmed. Bella stood there, frozen, saying nothing, looking at nothing. She became aware of Aro's hand on her shoulder, she didn't know how long she had been like that but she followed him to the car that would take them to the airport.

The entire flight to Italy and the drive to Volterra Bella remained silent. Once inside Volterra Castle she was led to a room beneath the castle. "This room is soundproof, even to vampire ears," Aro explained. "On the rare occasion a transformation occurs here we like to minimize the unpleasant effects."

"You mean you don't want to hear me scream," Bella translated.

"Are you ready?" Aro asked, he was so close Bella could see the texture of his skin. She nodded and before she could blink Aro's teeth sunk into her skin. One bite and he was gone, the door was closed, and Bella tried to find the stillness she'd had on the journey. Fore burned through her veins, she suffered what felt like unendurable agony, trying to stay as still and silent as she could. Moving made it worse. Slowly, so slowly the fire receded from her limbs. First her fingers and toes, then arms and legs. As it receded the fire burned hotter, focusing on one central point, the heart.

Faster and faster her hear beat as the fire raged within. Then it began to slow, until finally with its last beat the fire disappeared and Bella opened her eyes to her new life. Bella stood and walked to the door and found a thin cord, something she wouldn't have noticed as a human. Curious she pulled on the cord and the door opened. "Aro suspected you would wake today," a vampire standing directly across the hall stated. Bella stared at him for a moment before she remembered him.

"Demitri," she said his name.

"Very good," he complimented her with a smile. "Follow me," Demitri led her through the castle to a room filled with sunlight. Along the far wall were three thrones, all of them occupied. "My lords," Demitri called the attention of the enthroned vampires.

"Bella!" Aro exclaimed with delight. He stepped forward and embraced her, "I am so glad to see you with us my dear. Brothers this is Bella, the newest member of our guard."

Marcus and Caius stepped down to greet her, "So this is the girl who caused all of the trouble?" Caius asked rhetorically. Bella stood silently as they inspected her, "Welcome to Volterra," Caius finally concluded.

"Thank you, my lord," Bella replied quietly.

"Come Bella, you must be hungry," Aro took her by the hand and led her to a small room off the hall. A young woman was tied in the corner cowering in fear. Bella immediately stopped breaking and tried to back out of the room. "What is wrong?" Aro asked, surprised by her reaction.

"I'm not going to drink her," Bella stated with what little breath she had.

"I don't understand," Aro replied.

Trying to keep control Bella inhaled through her teeth, "I am not going to feed on humans," she stated emphatically.

Aro paused for a moment contemplating what she meant, "You plan to follow Carlisle's path."

"Yes," she hoped the conversation would end there; she was out of breath again.

"Very well," Aro stepped aside letting her exit the room. "I have something for you," he led her to another room, much longer with two deer inside. "You should eat before you lose what little control you have. You may hunt outside the walls later."

"Sounds good," Bella replied taking in a deep breath. The deer never saw her coming. "You were prepared," Bella observed once she'd finished.

"I suspected that after all the time you spent with the Cullens you would share their views," Aro explained. Bella could see him calculating the effects of her meal. "Your ability is quite strong," Aro observed, "Let us see how far it extends, shall we?"

Bella followed Aro from the room, "Do you really think this is the best time?"

"Bella you are the most controlled newborn vampire I have ever seen, everyone will be perfectly safe." Aro replied with supreme confidence. Bella sighed resigning herself to going through Aro's tests. Hours later she was led to a bedroom of sorts. There was a day bed, shelves for books, a wardrobe of clothes and her 'Alice phone'.

As soon as she was left alone Bella picked up the phone and dialed. "Bella are you alright?" Alice asked before a full ring had gone through.

"I'm fine," Bella assured her. "All of this will definitely take some getting used to. Has anything happened to my family since I left?"

"Nothing I've seen," Alice replied. "I'm sure they just miss you, and they're probably confused."

"I hated to leave them," Bella confessed.

"I know you did," Alice replied sympathetically.

They were silent for a few minutes, finally Bella spoke. "Listen; there isn't much point in keeping my whereabouts a secret anymore. I want you to tell your family everything. Where I am, what's happened, everything. And give them my love."

"I will," Alice promised.

"See you later," Bella sighed.

"You bet you will," Alice replied. They hung up the phone. Bella was left alone for only a few hours before Aro requested her presence again. Over the following months Bella was set into a routine. Most of the morning and early afternoon was dedicated to training. The evenings she would spend reading or walking the castle, Felix often followed her on these walks, and she quickly learned to ignore him. Every couple of weeks humans would be brought to the castle for the Volturi and their guard to feast on, and the soon after she would be allowed into the countryside to hunt.


	10. Chapter 10

Several months after her awakening she was called to Aro's side, she entered one of the reception chambers where guests of the Volturi were met. She expected to see Aro, what she did not expect was to see all of the Cullens with him. "My lord," she greeted Aro without acknowledging the others. "I was told you wanted to see me."

"Yes, my dear Bella," Aro replied graciously. "You have visitors," he indicated to the Cullens in a broad gesture. "I shall leave you to chat. Bella, remember, lesson at 2 o'clock."

"Yes, my lord," Bella bowed her head in acknowledgement. Aro left closing the door behind him. There was complete silence for a moment as Bella waited for Aro to be out of earshot. "Hello everyone, I'm so happy to see all of you again," Bella greeted them with a grin. Esme and Carlisle came forward to hug her, the others all came forward in their turn, except Edward. "Hello Edward," she called to him. "What are you all doing here?"

"We've come to take you home," Carlisle announced. Bella stared at him for a moment before turning to face Alice.

"You didn't tell them?" she asked Alice, sounding almost accusatory.

"I was waiting for the right time," Alice replied with a shrug.

"It's been months! How could you let them come all this way and not tell them?" Bella was practically shouting at Alice.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Esme asked trying to keep her calm.

"Oh, sorry," she apologized. "I made a deal with Aro, twenty years of service for the lives of my family, and all of you."

"Us?" Emmett asked.

"When he realized Alice had always known where I was Aro was going to hold the entire family accountable," Bella explained. "I wasn't going to be responsible for bringing that down on you, plus my husband and daughters –"

"Daughters?" Rosalie asked sharply.

Bella turned back to Alice, "Do you understand the phrase 'tell them everything'?" she asked tersely. Alice grimaced and Bella turned back to the others. "I had twin girls, they just turned two."

"Congratulations," Rosalie smiled at Bella genuinely for the first time.

"Thank you," Bella decided to lighten the mood. "So how long are you going to stay now?"

"Oh, a week at least," Esme answered. There was something in her tone that made Bella pause and look around at all the Cullen's faces.

"You're not moving here for me," Bella immediately objected. "I will not let you uproot your lives for me, again." Carlisle and Esme were about to argue, but Bella cut them off, "You can argue with me later. I have to meet with Aro in a few minutes, so why don't we continue this another time?"

"Why are you meeting with Aro?" Jasper asked.

"He's helping me to extend my shield," Bella explained.

"Shield?" Edward asked.

"My vampire ability, they call it a shield. My mind isn't affected by other vampiric abilities. Aro can't read my mind, Jane, Alec, Chelsea – none of them work on me. Aro is teaching me to shield someone other than myself. It could come in handy when the guard goes out to dispense justice." Bella smiled at their awed expressions. "I've got to get going, and I'm sure you have other things to do."

"We'll see you soon Bella," Alice promised. Bella opened the door and waited as they all filed out. Edward was the last in line.

"Edward, I wonder if I could have a minute?" she requested pleasantly. Edward paused just inside the door Bella let it slowly swing shut. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?" Edward replied.

"You've been pretty quiet," Bella paused a moment, "do you remember the last conversation we had in Oregon?"

"Perfectly," Edward replied, confused by the question.

"I told you what it would take for us to be together," Bella stated.

"You said that if you became a vampire we could be together," he said his voice hitching in anticipation, hope filling him.

"Well, I'm a vampire now," she smiled coyly, and then her expression became grave. "Edward, I love you, I always have and always will, but you can't stay here."

"What?" Edward asked completely derailed.

"Edward, the more of us Aro has here the less likely it is that he will let any of us go," Bella explained. "I _will_ be with you, but we are going to have to wait just a little while longer."

"You want me to stay with my family, while you serve the Volturi," Edward stated not really liking the sound of the words as they left his mouth.

"My life here isn't anything to concern yourself with, and your family needs you to help keep them safe," Bella explained. "I will come back to you and I swear that nothing will ever separate us again," she promised.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked stepping closer to her. Bella took one step closer and kissed Edward. The kiss was different, more, than every kiss she had shared with him before. For the first time in their relationship she was the one who pulled away first. "Bella-" he sighed.

"I have to go," she stated slightly breathless. "Aro is already worried, if I'm late he might do something drastic. I'll see you tomorrow," Bella led the way into the hall where she said good bye to the Cullens once more before walking away. She was surprised to find Marcus waiting alone, at the end of the hall. "Lord Marcus," she greeted him, though her tone made it sound like a question.

"Aro asked that I escort you to your lesson," Marcus explained his voice was soft, quiet, and held no intonation. Bella nodded and fell into step beside Marcus. "You care for them all very much," he commented quietly.

Bella didn't need to question who he was talking about. "The Cullens are family to me," she replied, cautiously keeping her tone neutral. They did not speak again. Aro was waiting just outside the door of their normal training room.

"Thank you Marcus," Aro sighed, taking Marcus' hand for a moment. "Bella you have been making marvelous progress, but I thought today we would see how far we can push your limits." Aro led her into the room where she saw Felix and Demitri standing by the door. Jane was waiting by the far wall. Aro joined her in less than a second. All of these details were not enough to hold her attention when she saw the child, no more than three or four years old cowering at Jane's feet.

"No!" the scream tore through her throat as Bella launched herself to protect the child. Felix and Demitri restrained her, holding her tightly enough that she could not move. "Jane dear," Aro prompted, nodding to the child curled up in a terrified ball at her feet.

"No," Bella screamed again. In an instant she had pushed her shield out from herself wrapping it around the child. The room was tinged with a red haze, at least to Bella's eyes, as she continued to struggle against Felix and Demitri. Jane turned her gaze down to the child, a gentle smile on her face. The child merely continued to look up at her in fear. Bella's shield held. Suddenly there was a dragging sound as though someone was scraping a chair across the floor. Aro looked up to see Bella pulling Felix and Demitri across the room in a desperate battle to reach the child.

"That is enough for today," Aro stated. Jane nodded turning back to him to await further orders. Bella stopped struggling, but kept her shield over the child just in case. "Felix, Demitri you may let her go." Still cautious of Aro's intentions Bella did not charge forward as she wished in case it would be cause for an attack. "Jane, return the child." It was only then as Jane bent down to pick up the child that Bella allowed her shield to let the little girl go. "You may go, it seems Isabella wishes to speak to me," she waited until the other guards had left before she spoke.

"My lord Aro," she began, her voice deadly cold, her vision beginning to return to normal. "I can see that you understand enough about motherhood to use a defenseless child against me. There is, however, something I must say to you." When Bella paused Aro motioned for her to continue. "If you _ever_ abuse a child like that again, not only will I break our contract I will do everything in my power to destroy you."

They were silent, perfectly still as Aro tested Bella's resolve. "I understand Isabella. Keep to our agreement, and we will have no cause to argue again." Aro swept past her out of the room, and it was at that moment that Bella knew beyond a doubt that Aro had used that innocent child not as in incentive, but as a warning against her leaving with the Cullens. Bella sat in the room for several hours looking at nothing, waiting to hear if the child was alright. She moved only when she heard the door open. "Lord Marcus," she greeted him in surprise.

"I would like to speak to you for a moment," he stated. "Aro is very pleased with your progress controlling your abilities. He hopes that within a few months you will be ready to go out into the world." Marcus paused, assessing Bella's reaction to the news. He noted surprise and reluctance in her gaze. "I could request that you stay as my personal guard, if you like."

Bella was stunned by the offer, and took a minute to recover enough to speak, "I will of course do as I am asked, but I would prefer to stay in Volterra," she answered diplomatically. Marcus inclined his head and exited the room. Bella took this as a cue to go to her won room to think. The following day dawned with an unusual gathering of clouds for the time of year for Italy. Bella was happy and worried for the Cullen's promised return visit. One hour before Heidi's promised return with "food" all of the Volturi and their guard were gathered in a room tall and round, with a large drain in the center of the floor when Alec arrived brining the Cullens.

"Ahh, Carlisle," Aro greeted the head of the family with a pleasant smile, "I am so pleased to see you again, we did not have the chance to speak yesterday."

"Yes, it is a pity, but I am sure today will bring us many opportunities to catch up," Carlisle replied easily. Bella stepped away from the small group of vampires she had been conversing with to approach Aro and the Cullens. Felix reached out as though he might stop her, but she brushed him aside. "My lord," she called to Aro. Everyone in the room turned to look at her in shock.

"Yes Bella?" Aro asked, sounding intrigued but not altogether surprised by her outburst.

"Perhaps, considering Heidi's imminent return it would be better for the Cullen's if they returned later," she suggested trying to sound neutral as she hid her panic.

"Of course," Aro agreed. The rest of the guard seemed to relax and become bored with the conversation. "Perhaps you would be so kind to show them around our city Bella?"

"If you wish, my lord," Bella accepted formally. "Please follow me," she gestured to the Cullen's to follow her.

"Isabella," Aro called after her, "just this once," he warned.

"Understood," she replied as she led the Cullens out of the castle.

"What was that all about?" Emmett asked frustrated by the half-spoken conversation.

"I'll explain outside," Bella promised before the others could speak. It took them a few minutes to get out traveling at human speed. "Sophia," Bella greeted the woman sitting in the reception area. "Isabella," the woman replied in turn. Once they were out in the city Bella breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, what were you talking about?" Emmett demanded to know the moment he smelt fresh air.

"Heidi is bringing back dinner," Bella explained. "I thought it would be better to talk after the blood had stopped flowing."

"What did Aro mean, 'just this once'?" Alice asked.

"Oh, all of the guard are required to be at every – meal." They walked slowly through the streets, the others digesting this information as they made their way to the main plaza. "We're lucky it's so cloudy today," Bella commented looking up at the sky. "I hate to think of all of you trapped inside on a day like today." She glanced back to see Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper all exchanging worried glances. "All of you really should stop worrying so much, I'm fine."

"Is there anywhere to shop around here?" Rosalie suddenly asked, breaking the tension.

"A few places," Bella replied with a laugh. "Come on, I'll show you." She led them out into the city. As they travelled from store to store they talked and joked, catching up on their last few years apart. Several hours later Bella noticed Alice seemed to be concentrating very hard on something. "Want some space to think?" she asked Alice too quiet for the others to hear.

"If only," Alice sighed. Bella merely smiled as she extended her shield around Alice.

"Now you do," Bella replied a little smugly. Edward immediately turned to see if Alice had gone. "I told you I was working on shielding others," Bella said by way of explanation. "We should head back now, or Aro will be convinced you've stolen me away." The return trip was much quicker as they didn't stop to shop. The Cullens all noticed a change come over Bella as they re-entered the castle, she became more subdued, more still.

Edward was the only one who realized that Bella pulled back her shield, exposing Alice's thoughts as soon as they crossed the threshold. Jane was waiting for them in the lobby. "Hello Jane," Bell greeted her.

"Aro would like to see the Cullens in the reception hall," Jane informed them, "and Marcus would like to speak to you . . . downstairs."

Bella froze for a moment before she replied. "Thank you Jane," she turned to the Cullens. "It was a pleasure seeing you all again, I hope we can meet again soon." She smiled briefly before her face became a smooth mask and she left them in Jane's hands. Bella was slightly trepidatious as she made her way down to the room where she had spent three days writhing in pain.

"Close the door," Marcus ordered when she arrived. Bella obeyed sealing them off from the rest of the castle. "Before you may be allowed to join my personal guard Aro insists on sending you out to take care of some law breakers to test your skill."

"And my loyalty," she added unsurprised. "May I ask shy we are having this conversation here?"

"There is something I must know without the others hearing," Marcus stated. "The bond between you and the Cullens is strong, it is however much stronger with the one named Edward. What is he to you?"

"Everything," Bella stated simply. The Cullens left that evening and two days later and Bella was sent with Jane and Demitri to eliminate a small coven of vampires who had caused devastation in a small African town. One month later Aro agreed to assign Bella to Marcus' personal guard. Time seemed to move slowly those first few months after she began to serve Marcus. Because he never left Volterra there was little to protect him from. Aro continued to oversee her training, so her first year as a vampire passed.

Sometime into her second year Marcus began having Bella shield him for small periods of time, eventually the amount of time became longer and longer. It was during these times that Bella became concerned for Marcus. The pain she would see in his eyes was devastating. "My lord," she broached the topic one day as she lowered her shield. "May I ask why you have me do this?

"Your Edward, you lost him once when you were human, didn't you?" Marcus countered his voice reverting back to disinterest.

"I did," Bella answered a little confused by the conversation.

"You felt pain?" the sentence was somewhere between a question and a statement, and Bella finally understood.

"You lost someone," she stated, "and Chelsea and Corin stop you from really feeling it."

"They have stopped me from feeling much of anything," Marcus clarified. "How did you survive?"

Bella understood exactly what he was asking, but she still took a full minute to answer. "When Edward left the pain was unendurable. My mind built a cage around itself to protect me. I stopped feeling anything for a time, until I realized such pain is never driven away, it can only be lived with. I made myself wake up, and it was not too long after that I realized I could grow strong enough to handle the pain. Because feeling something was better than feeling nothing," Bella explained hesitantly, not sure her words were making any sense.

Marcus' silent understanding was all she needed. Over the years they spoke of Marcus' loss on several occasions but mostly their time together was the silent understanding of two people who had once lost everything. At times Bella would be asked to protect members of the guard on their missions. During her time with the Volturi Bella made friends with other members of the guard, many of whom left their service before she did.

Strangely enough her longest and closest friend in the guard was Felix. They would spend hours together talking, he would tell her of his many years as a vampire, and she would share her memories of being human in the 20th century. Aro looked on friendship with pleasure, hoping her ties to Felix would encourage her to stay. The fact that he still couldn't read her mind was always a problem for him.

"Bella, tomorrow is the big day isn't it?" Felix asked from the door to her room. He had watched her pack in silence.

"Yes, I'm going home," Bella replied with a satisfied smile.

"You could stay here," Felix said with a shrug, hoping she would stay, but knowing she wouldn't.

"Felix, we've talked about this," Bella sighed. "The Cullens are my family, they are my home. I have had a wonderful time here with all of you, and I've learned so much, but it's time for me to go home." She stepped forward and gave Felix a light hug. "Let's go for one last walk." The next morning Bella, when her term of service was officially over, she went to speak to Marcus first before going to Aro. "Lord Marcus," she greeted him in his private study.

"You are leaving us today," he stated mildly.

"Yes," Bella paused for a moment then smiled. "I just wanted to thank you for my time here. It has been a pleasure serving you." They looked at each other for a long moment, then Marcus inclined his head and she was dismissed. She said good bye to others as she passed them in the halls on her way to see Aro.

"Is it time already?" Aro asked when he saw Bella standing in his doorway.

"Twenty years," she reminded him.

"Bella is there nothing that will entice you to stay?" Aro inquired sadly.

"You know there isn't," Bella answered. "If if makes you feel better, I will come back and visit."

Aro laughed a little at this, "Our contract is fulfilled, and your family is safe," he replied formally.

"Thank you Aro, for everything," she smiled genuinely, turned on her heel, and was gone. Her bags were in the lobby, and she did not look back as she carried them out to the car waiting to take her to the airport. On the drive her phone rang, she answered after one ring. "Hello Alice," she greeted her almost sister.

"You're coming home?" Alice gasped, overjoyed.

"I just need to know where to go," Bella replied smiling to herself.

"Chicago," Alice answered giving her the full address, "and don't worry. I won't tell the others," she promised.

"I'll see you soon," they hung up the phone, and after that it was a simple matter. Two planes later and Bella was in a cab on her way to the address Alice had given her. The cab driver let her out setting her bags on the curb. He drove away with a crisp $100 bill in his hand. Bella quickly climbed up the stairs to the front door of the house, and ignoring the door knocker and bell she opened the door. "Anybody home?" she called out.

"Bella!" Esme called from the top of the stairs. "You're home!" a second later they were embracing. Moments later the rest of the Cullens had appeared. Bella was passed from person to person, hugging them all. Finally she was in Edward's arms, and before he could speak she kissed him. Eventually she pulled away to say, "I'm home," before kissing him again.

The End

_**Author's Note: Before anyone asks, I will not be writing a sequel. I had only one idea for Twilight and this was it. I hope you enjoyed it, I know it wasn't as long as most would want, but it was the best I could do. **_


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